We are settling into a family of four. We have daily schedules and rhythms working surprisingly well. The daily ins and outs, ups and downs of “normal” life. It is nice. It is comfortable. It is wonderful to look back on four months with the newest member of our family and see how we have all grown and changed in the uncomfortable-abnormal time. It’s hard having a new member enter your family, whether they are 1, or 2.5, or 20, or older. Everybody has to make room, make space, adjust themselves and their relationships to each other. It’s also wonderful, delightful, and joyful!
We are still growing, but it feels…. more… (sing it with me) “all together now”.
We are still getting to know our new son. He is a crack-up, show-off, little punk. He is endearing and adorable. He is crying and whining less, consoling himself more, and showing so much growth. He loves hugs and gives kisses, he lets his big sister touch him all. the. time. He doesn’t mind me brushing his teeth (we got a smaller toothbrush) and only whines a little when we comb his hair or other unlikable daily events. He shares toys or hoards them and has a hard time taking turns (how surprising for a two-year-old! =D). He still HATES being redirected, but we have learned to allow him time to say good bye to whatever he was doing before he moves on and that helps tremendously. He is as much a boy as Sunita is a girl.
Sunita is learning about sharing attention. She is realizing how it isn’t all fun, all the time. She is also starting to see the fun of being a big sister. “Come here, Titus” she calls, not that he listens. “Do this”, she tells him, not that he does.
Husband has a son who adores him. As Sunita has always been a mommy’s girl, Daddy always played second fiddle. Not anymore. I think Titus would jump.out.of.his.skin if he could when Daddy gets home.
Me, my heart has grown. He feels more like my child, rather than a child I love but who belongs to another. He has given me new and different challenges and new and different blessings than my eldest. He sleeps (thank Heavens!!) and he sleeps well! He is much more active and physical. As I’ve grown to know him more, I see although he isn’t cautious (physically), he isn’t risky either. He is less obedient than the girl, but he isn’t headstrong or disobedient. I try to touch him often and look into his eyes many, many times a day. My kids, they have gorgeous eyes. I’m finding my way into his heart too. He lights up when he sees me and wants to hug me and kiss me in the morning, which I adore. He tells me when we go outside (which is his favorite place) “Mama, Titus Whee happy”. And I so love that he calls himself Titus Whee.
Finding our way to a family of four has been a journey in every sense of the word. A wonderful, crazy, amazing, God-gifted journey. And for that, I’m thankful.